Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Carer Watch Website Enforced Shutdown

So what happened to Freedom of Speech  & Innocent until proven guilty?


February 9th On checking this link I now find the web site On http://carerwatch.wordpress.com/ is fully active

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

New Blogger on the Block

A big welcome to the Earl of Bootyopia who's dipped a toe into the Blogosphere with this post which is well worth reading. Please pop over and say Hi!

Friday, 27 May 2011


After a rather dreary winter full of snow, woes and viruses I've returned to my Blog to fill you in with a short update.

MyMan has been no better. Pain and depression as bad as ever. Occasional glimpses of the Man he used to be pop to the fore but rarely last long. On my birthday in February all my family were flying from all corners of the world to converge on Sri Lanka for a wedding. I was stressed and anxious at having all my precious eggs in one basket. In the event they all returned safely. To provide a distraction at this time I booked a First Class train seat to East Croydon and a B&B at the Selsdon Park Hotel for along weekend in April.

I met with Kay who came down from east Anglia for a night. You may remember that Kay and I had a disastrous trip in 2008  Rather than terminate the friendship I continued to keep in touch but am now much less inclined to consider her feelings above my own. We are not as close but still able to enjoy each others company.

The main difference is that pre 2008 to give her pleasure I would have strained every sinew to  visit and stay with her. I find it stressful leaving MyMan. Would prefer to spend time away from home with my family rather than friends. But I would have made the effort. A 6 hour journey is no easy undertaking under the best of circumstances. So I am unlikely ever to make the effort to visit her again.

Over the last 2 years she has invited herself down to visit us. And rather than pay for her to stay at a nearby B&B I now leave her to sort out her own accommodation. I have forgiven but not forgotten. I am hardened.

During a phone chat Kay mentioned that we hadn't seen each other in 2010. I'd not been aware of the lack. She was trying to sort out if we could arrange a visit. I suggested that as I was on a visit to family while booked in at an hotel. Would she be interested see if it could a suitable venue for a half way meeting place. she did and we both arrived on the Friday afternoon. It was successful 24 hours together. We've agreed we'll try and fit it in on a regular basis. Perhaps a long winter weekend to include Christmas shopping trip to Croydon stores.

After Kay left on the Saturday evening I met very briefly with Merry Weather. She is a delightful lady. My only regret's we only had an hour together and I was inclined to be very tired by then. Sunday I spent the day with family. So I had the best of both worlds: Family and friends.

The best part was that everytime I phoned MyMan he sounded upbeat. I didn't probe and took it at face value. Time enough on my return home to hear of all the problems he faced without me. And the effort he made to sound cheerful. I told him how much I appreciated it.

Sunday, 2 January 2011

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good the Bad and the Ugly - a year end review.

The Good:
  1. Winning a long drawn out compensation battle with Equitable Life via the FOS
  2. Award of continuation of DLA & Mobility Allowance
  3. My one week break away to see family after my bowel investigation
  4. My trip by train to visit family for a short weekend break away
  5. My nephew's wedding and a lovely 3 nights at a Boutique hotel in Richmond, London
  6. Bridge Club and lessons
  7. Family, friends, new PC, Apple iphone, wine and laughter
  8. Re discovering the art of losing oneself in fiction
  9. Hypnotherapy sessions to help me get in touch once again with my optimistic self (gave me the energy to get on, do more, think less and not feel guilty for enjoying life while MyMan is so depressed)
  10. Making plans for 2011: more short trips away by rail to meet old and new friends
  11. Planning to try and get MyMan to London via rail up so that we can explore where I would like to live - nearer to family
  12. MyMan is due to attend a 6 week Pain Management course. I hope it will improve his attitude to coping. Now we know this IS as good as it gets we need to move on.
The Bad: 
  1. Many hospital appointments with MyMan at the Pain Management Clinic (raised then dashed hopes and the time spent waiting around)
  2. Day Case Surgery - 4 days for him and then 1 for me
  3. MyMan attending a Back to Fitness course - slowly building strength up but no improvement pain wise
  4. Depressing time when completing application form for continuation of DLA (took us 8 weeks to work through it a bit at a time)
  5. The sudden onset of Diabetes following his sacral iliac joint steroid injections
  6. Making yet more adjustments for a health problem
  7. The lack of effect following Botox injections
  8. MyMan's increased depression following each unsuccessful Pain Management intervention
The Ugly: 
  1. MyMan rarely goes out without me and I still crave some solitude at home.
  2. I often need get away from MyMan to feel happiness; his negativity is so very draining.
  3. I still feel home is no longer the refuge it used to be
  4. I miss the freedom to invite friends in when I like.Any entertaining of friends needs to be planned well in advance. If it coincides with one of MyMan's worse days then I feel guilty and uncomfortable.
  5. His anger, irritation and unpleasant manner is rarely shown openly to other people. His Dr defends him and says its down to frustration. I know. But it is so very draining to cope with 24/7. I withdraw into myself. It doesn't make for a close marriage nowadays. And I still grieve for the loss of the  man he used to be