Acting as carer and support for a spouse with a physical and mental illness isn't easy. Love is still part of the relationship but it is not the same. There is a subtle shift - it's a different kind of love. Sometimes though exasperation can set in and that's when you need to be a 'Selfish Pig' and demand time to yourself and some degree of privacy. In trying to adjust to the changes in our circumstances I found a book called 'The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring'. I found it humorous. It gave me pause for thought. As my man's health took a gradual down turn and depression took hold - I always assumed that everything would improve one day. Then after several years (I would have to stop, think and count backwards to try and work out when was the last time we could count on life as being 'normal') - you start to wonder "maybe this is 'as good as it gets'?"
At that stage it can get very depressing for both of you. That's why I stopped the world. Got off for a while. Read the book. Then tried to think of ways of preserving my own identity. My own sanity. And to have some quality time away from caring duties. It was at this stage that I realised that if I couldn't always go out to socialise when I needed a pick me up, I could Blog. So here I am.