Tuesday, 28 September 2010

A Long Eventful Summer

It's been a long eventful summer. Following on from my bowel investigations within 2 weeks I was on a long planned trip to Surrey/Sussex to visit family. I didn't feel too chipper. My innards were still a bit unsettled. I felt sad and scared. I knew by then that the polyps were of the type that could turn cancerous. And so would undergo a colonoscopy again next year. Oh well - at least I now know what to expect.

At the time of my visit my sister was grieving: she'd had an old much loved dog put down and a work colleague, who was a really good friend, had died unexpectedly. One way and another we were both for different reasons tired and in shock.

The events once again raised my anxiety levels; along with feelings of grief and sadness.

Feeling so tired we did less than usual. Eating, drinking, chatting, dozing and walking the dogs. And reading. I rediscovered the joy and solace of losing myself in reading. Fiction. Becoming lost in a tale. Escapism.

 I've always read a great deal. But of late, the last 10 years. I've been reading for research, personal development and information gathering. Knowledge is Power.
Or, rather, should that be Ignorance is Bliss? I'm certainly more relaxed now I can lose myself in a book or 3.

I realised on my return home that I spend far too much time worrying about, for and on behalf of MyMan. That life is passing me by. I resolved once and for all to get some balance back into my life.

That's what I've been working on the last few months.

6 comments:

merry weather said...

Oh... I'm so sorry for your worries Lady T.

Knowledge is power/Ignorance is bliss. Hmm...

My eldest has just painted me a picture of sunflowers with the motto "Live. Laugh. Love" alongside. I've lived these last few years according to this principle. And not regretted one moment. (Athough some have broken my heart.)

You are in my thoughts. X

Alcoholic Daze (ADDY) said...

Nice to have you back again, though you sound tired. Take one day at a time and put yourself first when you can!

maz said...

Hi it's nice to see you back.
I guess it's hard at times for us Carers to make some 'me' time isn't it!
I know exactly how you feel as I've been there too myself!
(((hugs)))
maz x

ladythinker said...

Hello Meryw, Addy and Maz:
Good to hear from you all - I've still been over busy and not had much chance to blog. But expect to be back posting in a few weeks; when the last of the sunny weather has gone... sigh

merry weather said...

Well the sunny weather has gone and I am impatient for an update.

(Sorry for being forthright. I can't help it, it's part of my accelerated ageing.)

How are things Lady T?

Hugs X

ladythinker said...

Merryw - well here's snippet. More to come soon. . I promise.

Now we are about to go back to GMT I'll have a whole extra hour in my life that I can use and will spend it on working on another post of my summer activities.