Sunday, 2 January 2011

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good the Bad and the Ugly - a year end review.

The Good:
  1. Winning a long drawn out compensation battle with Equitable Life via the FOS
  2. Award of continuation of DLA & Mobility Allowance
  3. My one week break away to see family after my bowel investigation
  4. My trip by train to visit family for a short weekend break away
  5. My nephew's wedding and a lovely 3 nights at a Boutique hotel in Richmond, London
  6. Bridge Club and lessons
  7. Family, friends, new PC, Apple iphone, wine and laughter
  8. Re discovering the art of losing oneself in fiction
  9. Hypnotherapy sessions to help me get in touch once again with my optimistic self (gave me the energy to get on, do more, think less and not feel guilty for enjoying life while MyMan is so depressed)
  10. Making plans for 2011: more short trips away by rail to meet old and new friends
  11. Planning to try and get MyMan to London via rail up so that we can explore where I would like to live - nearer to family
  12. MyMan is due to attend a 6 week Pain Management course. I hope it will improve his attitude to coping. Now we know this IS as good as it gets we need to move on.
The Bad: 
  1. Many hospital appointments with MyMan at the Pain Management Clinic (raised then dashed hopes and the time spent waiting around)
  2. Day Case Surgery - 4 days for him and then 1 for me
  3. MyMan attending a Back to Fitness course - slowly building strength up but no improvement pain wise
  4. Depressing time when completing application form for continuation of DLA (took us 8 weeks to work through it a bit at a time)
  5. The sudden onset of Diabetes following his sacral iliac joint steroid injections
  6. Making yet more adjustments for a health problem
  7. The lack of effect following Botox injections
  8. MyMan's increased depression following each unsuccessful Pain Management intervention
The Ugly: 
  1. MyMan rarely goes out without me and I still crave some solitude at home.
  2. I often need get away from MyMan to feel happiness; his negativity is so very draining.
  3. I still feel home is no longer the refuge it used to be
  4. I miss the freedom to invite friends in when I like.Any entertaining of friends needs to be planned well in advance. If it coincides with one of MyMan's worse days then I feel guilty and uncomfortable.
  5. His anger, irritation and unpleasant manner is rarely shown openly to other people. His Dr defends him and says its down to frustration. I know. But it is so very draining to cope with 24/7. I withdraw into myself. It doesn't make for a close marriage nowadays. And I still grieve for the loss of the  man he used to be


Henry North London 2.0 said...

I'm always here if you need to chat

henrynorthlondon at

rickismom said...

Again, I can definately empathise. I have a problem that I can not invite a sitter in for Ricki when DH is around, but he is not able to really watch her himself.
I have found a good way to let off negative energy is to go out and do a bit of aerobic walking (best if with an MP3 player....); it gives me the solitude that I need at times.

ladythinker said...

Thanks henry - I've tried visit your blog a couple of times recently but no access now - have you retired? I've been thinking of you with all the news re 7/7

Thank you rickismom - playing bridge once or twice a week does it for me ;)

ladythinker said...

Henry since when have you been a toad - or is it a frog?? ;)

Henry North London 2.0 said...

I shut down musings of the medic I wasnt feeling able to post. Ive been cyberstalked by a regulatory body.

Ive not retired My new blog is at henrynorthlondon2.blogspot

Henry North London 2.0 said...

Its a toad I took pictures of it in the garden some two years ago

Ms. X. Posed said...

Wow. I know every life has some good and bad but I'm sorry you also have to deal with the ugly. I'm very happy to hear that you are looking into making some changes for yourself, though. A change of where you live in order to be closer to other loved ones may help tremendously - also, while looking into new living quarters you can especially look into ones that have more separate areas for you and your man. Maybe then you can plan a special "sitting area" or even a "porch" to be where you have friends over. It is extremely important for you to maintain your social life and some sanity! Hugs to you!

Ms. X. Posed said...

Oops - Sorry Ladythinker! That comment from Ms. Xposed is actually from me! It is a new handle I came up with for a food blog I started with some friends.


ladythinker said...

Such a surprise and how lovely to hear from you. I just love your new 'Pen Name' - sounds so racey !! ;-)
Will be over soon to have a look at your other place on food soon.
Big Cyber Hug Mmmwah X

karen said...

Sorry you are dealing with so much. I hope it is getting better by now. How are you. Thinking of you often.

Trish said...

I'm a carer too. I know how you feel hun. Take care. Trish x

ladythinker said...

Thank you Karen and Trish. It's kind of you both