Tempting Wife

I was taken to task the other day for buying 'tempting treats'. Like most things in life the more time MyMan and I spend together the more I am amazed that we have been married for 38 years.

When we first married I would buy a bar of chocolate. Have a couple small squares and not think about chocolate for weeks. Then when I again craved some chocoalate I'd return to the sweet dish and . . NOTHING - gone - vanished. After a while I realised that if I wanted chocolate I had to eat it before it was eaten. Weight started to creep on.

Now I am trying to lose weight. My view is that if it crept on then the best way to lose it is for it to creep away again. I still allow for occasional treats. Some weeks it's one treat per week. Desperate times it could be one treat per day. I buy packs of small chocolate treats. MyMan also needs to lose weight. He thinks I shouldn't have small treats. He blames me for his excess weight. If "we didn't have treats in the house" he would be able to resist them.

He claims to have more willpower than I. He has never been tempted to buy sweets. No he wouldn't. He's never tempted to shop either.The rare occasion I asked him to go buy a loaf of bread he also returned with 4 doughnuts and 2 almond macaroons. One doughnut was for me.

I've tried not having any treats in the house. But he expects something 'nice' to eat in the evening. Nice+ chocolatey and sweet and BIG. If none are available his grumpiness levels escalate to the point where I feel tempted to knife him. So I buy him ice cream to eat with fruit as a pudding after his main meal. At his suggestion I bought treats for myself and 'hid' them. I also buy some tasty items to feed my bridge friends when they come to play which are also hidden away.

During a recent night time prowl he found my hiding place. He opened and devoured my milk chocolate snack packs. As there are "only 2 small biscuits" per pack he ate 4 packs. He also went on and ate half a packet of 'expensively posh biscuits'. He didn't tell me. I only found out when I went to retrieve them for a bridge party several days later. My bridge friends had to make do with plain Rich Tea. Yesterday evening he ate my weeks supply of 6 x Toffee Crisps at 'only' 99 cals. He told me off for buying them in small versions: "only 2 bites and they're gone" -"Such an expensive way to shop".

When I try and tell him that these sweet treats are what add to his weight misery he tells me he gets hungry in the night. As he is constantly fighting Co-Codamol induced constipation, I suggest that a dish of high fibre cereal would be much better at warding off hunger. Then he tells me off again. That if the treats weren't in the house he would have to make do with cereal. I'm looking for a new hiding place. I'll try the cleaning cupboard. I don't think he ever looks in there.

An A Weigh Day

I'm really glad to say that I'm now 7lb [maybe 10lb] lighter than at Christmas. The doubt about the 3lb difference is down to not weighing myself until several days after the start of my change of eating habits. I found an old blouse at the back of the wardrobe which I'd not worn for 3 years. I had nearly thrown it out as far too tight. It fits again - a little snugly but presentable.

Monday will be my next 'official' weigh day. I weigh myself each morning as soon as I'm out of bed. But the Monday weigh-in is the only one which is recorded in my diary. A bit like the FTSE 100 the numbers on the scales are inclined to 'flirt' on and off with the next magic number appearing fleetingly over a few days before it becomes the regular measurement. Then I start to aim for the next 'magic' number. Perhaps like the share prices I should have the days high and low recorded.

We've had a few of our now 'usual' problems. MyMan's mood has taken a down turn again after the brief respite over the Christmas and new year holidays. He is in much pain - it is stopping him from doing what he wants to do - and making him very unsociable again. He refuses to take pain medication as he wants to 'save it' for when he really needs it. I wonder whether he means next Christmas. He has withdrawn into himself. He is short tempered and crabby to live with.

This has just highlighted how much I allow his mood to affect me. And the fact that I turn to food for comfort. I'm finding it very hard not to cheer myself up with a cake or some chocolates. I have opened a bottle of red wine; a 'medicinal' treat which should last a week. I must find other pleasures that do not involve food. I wonder whether my mother is to blame. Her and the medics. I'm beginning to think that as a child I must have been given a food based treat everytime I fell over and hurt myself. Just as the doctor gave me a sweet after every innoculation.

I'm planning a break away with an old friend and ex work colleague. A trip in the autumn back to Gloucestershire. A chance to meet with old friends/colleagues. But I do not want to be seen as 30lbs heavier than 10 years ago. I hold this thought in my mind to try and maintain my determination. I will treat myself to a massage when I have lost another 7lbs.