Playing Catch Up

I'm still struggling to play catch up with all my chores. Bad timing - meant that the decorator came in to refresh the hallway with some basic painting. It looks clean and fresh now. It hadn't been painted since the day we moved in 1999 and it needed doing then! It was a struggle to clear all the bookcases in readiness and of course it all had to be put back afterwards. Just at a time when I still felt weak and useless.

I still feel very tired. I've been told that I shouldn't underestimate the physical effects of the demands placed on me by caring for MyMan. That his depression is sapping my strength too. Apart from the extreme feeling of bone wearying fatigue I have a positive attitude. I'm just frustrated that I never get all that I want to do done each day. I get the 'must do' chores done and am having to leave the 'would like to do' list undone. But it is the latter that are fun, interesting or sociable .

At the moment I'm trying to get myself organised for a Macmillan Coffee morning. Several weeks ago October 1st seemed to be a good date for a charity coffee morning. Now I'm not so keen. I hope the sun doesn't shine that day. The last thing I want to see is all my cobwebs glowing in high definition sunlit glory.

Update: 13th October - All who came to join me for coffee and cake said they enjoyed the chance to socialise for a good cause. I've just paid a cheque for £90 into the fund.

In the pink ...

I have now been home 3+ weeks. It took me a good 7 days to re adjust. I set about being active and busy. Bridge classes re-started. I was wrong in that MyMan's new bed did not arrive while I was away. It was only delivered this last week.I was therefore able to continue with 'Plan A' - that we swap rooms. MyMan slowly became used to the idea of smaller bedroom with 'that awful pine furniture'

Over the last week we've managed to move everything between the 2 rooms. Each room's had a thorough spring clean. Well, an autumn clean really. I found many biscuit wrappers and chocolate crumbs in MyMans bedroom. No wonder he hasn't lost weight; regardless of my reducing meal portions. There were also signs of a visitation from a mouse. MyMan promised he would no longer say I am being 'over fussy' when I want to pull the bed away from the wall to vacuum under it.

I have now taken up residence in the 'pink room'. I feel rather like Barbara Cartland. The large king size bed looks far better for having space around it. I have been able to dig out all my favourite bed linens and am spoilt for choice as to how to dress my bed. It now looks warm, comfortable and inviting. It might look warm it is in fact the coldest room in the house but I'm happy enough with a pink furry hot bottle to take to bed at night. Now that we have room to turn the mattress it is in truth far more comfortable than it's been for many long months. So I'll be able to economise by not shopping for a new bed a while longer. Twice when I have woken early I have taken a cup of tea back to bed. Unlike recent years when if I've not been asleep I've left the room as speedily as possible.

MyMan now agrees the smaller room has plenty of space for him. He is finding the bed a great comfort and it helps with his quality of sleep. He still doesn't like the furniture so I am looking around for something more to his taste. I think it is the idea of change that upsets him so much. Along with the thought of the upheaval and work.

With the financial world going through so much turmoil the talk of a house move is on the slow back burner for now .. . .

Meanwhile I feel happier now that I have a pleasant retreat as a sanctuary when I feel the need. And next week I have another short break; a weekend away with an old [long standing] friend and colleague in Gloucestershire.

Not Quite to Plan ...

April and May aren't running to the plans I had made. I see that a few posts ago I was promising myself the idea of a quiet relaxing break away at the Woolacombe Bay Hotel. The weeks are galloping by. I'm reminded of John Mortimore's being told by playwright Christopher Fry that the older you get 'breakfast seems to happen every 5 minutes'.

MyMan has been poorly, irritable with life, events and me. I haven't been able to devote much attention to his emotional health needs. I have felt a bit stretched. Over the last few weeks a member of MyMan's family, in Surrey, and also local friends have had health problems. In fact at the moment I don't think I know anyone who is healthy and problem free.

Along with their inevitable hospital appointments/visits for tests, examinations, biopsies, prognsois and plans for treatments and minor surgery; all have entail long phone calls of [what I hope are] empathic support. Or hours taken up assisting with car trips from base to hospital and hospital to base; help with shopping expeditions while they are unable to drive while recovering from surgery. I haven't been doing this alone. Friends have set up an informal rota to assist where and when needed. But along with bridge lessons and the need to try and practice what I learn each week I have been rather stretched and thus unable to post a blog regularly.

The housework has taken on an even lower priority. Dust so thick I would need to shovel it out if anyone came to visit.

Which is why I can't for the life of me understand why I invited friends to join us for lunch today! It seemed a good idea on Friday when I put out the invite. This then involved yet another trip to Waitrose on my way home. I planned a traditional roast as I thought the forecast for Sunday was 'chilly and wet'. How wrong can the Met Office be? Or did I not listen properly. Maybe it was last weekend's forecast I had in mind! As I said, time flies by. Whatever, I've laboured over a roast on the hottest day of the summer, so far.

I still felt very stiff yesterday. I couldn't do all I wanted to as I was moving more slowly than usual. My time was spent outdoors sorting out pot plants, new plant acquisitions and containers. I didn't shovel dust anywhere. I had to scoot around a bit this morning. Everywhere received a lick and a promise. With the French doors and windows flung wide open to catch the cooling breezes, there is every possibility my friends thought the dust had just blown in over the last few hours.

Now being a glutton for punishment I have invited another couple over for supper on Friday. This time I will clean and tidy properly on Thursday. I will remove the bags of compost and empty plant containers from the patio chairs and table so that we are able to drink our aperitif outdoors. I will prepare a simple onepot dish and have salad. In which case it will probably be chilly and wet. I will inform the Met Office so they can put out an accurate forecast.

Lowering Standards

My sister in law paid a flying visit to us for the weekend. She was worried about her brother and as she'd not seen him since last Christmas. She booked herself into a B & B in Sidmouth. She arrived Saturday afternoon and left Sunday afternoon.

We had the builders here from Wednesday to Friday and we were even more dusty and grubby than when I last had a visitor to the house. Other than preparing a shepherds pie for Saturday supper I did very little to make the house look clean and welcoming. In fact a couple of hours before she was due to arrive I sat down to have a liesurely cup of coffee and saw a thick pile of dust and 3 dead flies on the window ledge. I wondered about getting the duster out, thought better of it and just moved a photograph frame to hide the fly cemetery. How much lower will my standards fall? I'm definitely on the slippery slope.