I'm full of frustration and am irritable. All manner of minor domestic problems are rearing their heads. All of them are coming up together.I have a friend visiting at the weekend. She's flying down for a flying visit from east Anglia. For the first time I've had to book her in for 2 nights B&B at a local guest house. We no longer have a guest bedroom. The guest bedroom has become my bedroom. My Man is sleepless most of the night. I go to bed, sleep the sleep of the dead for 2-3 hours then wake at 3.00 am. A couple of more hours of restless sleep then up at 5.30. This kind of sleeping pattern is not conducive to sharing a bedroom never mind a bed. We are like the little man and woman in an old fashioned weather station. If He is in[bed] then I'm out and vice versa. We've turned into a 24 hour household.
I used to be an 8 hours deep sleeper kind of woman. But over the last 4 years that seems to have changed. I don't know if it is due to circumstances or older age. I am very tired so my irritability levels are sky high. I am not nice to know. The fact that I'm irritable is irritating me. I have lost all patience with My Man who is wondering why I'm telling him to ignore his aches, his pains, his blurred vision and his sleepless nights. I now try to avoid asking him how he is. If I ask I only want a brief answer; not a blow by blow account from head to toe of every ache and non functioning body part. I tell him that I don't know the answers to his questions. Whether what he experiencing is down to side effects of the medication. He thinks he has 90% of the listed possible side effects. Of every pill he takes. I suggest he ring the male CPN [Community Psychiatric Nurse] and talk it over with him. He was given his office number and his mobile number to help during this transitional period. He'll 'think about it' - he 'may ring next week'. He was given the numbers to use if he needs support. But My Man says he's "OK - not anxious - not worried enough to bother him". I say "fine, then don't bother me either". I don't know about him but I may ring the CPN myself - I could do with some support at the moment.
Meanwhile I have a friend due at Exeter airport on Friday, a car that is reluctant to pull away in first gear without shuddering, a fridge that I have to kick the door to get it to close properly and a leaking shower that started to leak last October. MyMan refused to call a workman in to repair it as it is such a 'little job', he could do it. But 12 months later I feel enough is enough. I'm now waiting for a plumber to come and re-seal the whole shower tray. I want to be able to shower and clean the shower stall out without worrying about where the leaking water is going to ....
9 comments:
I feel for your frustrations, as I too have difficulty sleeping, having once been an 8-hours' deep sleep type before. My husband did shift work for years and now, though retired, finds it difficult to get to sleep until the small hours of the morning. But even then, he smokes, reads with the light on and is restless during the night. Consequently, like you, the spare room is often a solution, or we both end up tossing and turning like fish thrown onto the riverbank. You may not want to resort to drugs, but I have found amitriptyline very useful in keeping me in a deep sleep to cope with the situation. Amitriptyline is primarily an antidepressant (I do not suffer from depressaion) but is often prescribed for other situations of which insomnia is one. I only take half a tablet of the smallest dosage but that is enough to give me a decent sleep but alert enough the next day to drive a car (which tranquillisers would not do). Hope this helps.
My man, H, is up every few hours to use the john. He has a CPAP machine that he wears at night to help him breath and it hisses a lot.
I found that earplugs work well for the noise, but don't help with the jostling in the bed.
Sometimes I too just go to the guest room. When that happens, H gets all worried that "he's doing something wrong." It's OK, honey, it is.
I think the worst thing about dealing with a depressive is their inability to consider anyone else's needs objectively. I say objectively, because if you ask them the first thing they will say is that they are worried about how their condition will impact on you. But - and this is the stinker - only in so far as how making you feel bad impacts on them. Not sure if I'm making sense, what I'm trying to say is that depression generally takes away a person's ability to be anything other than self-centered.
I feel for you too. And can only suggest that you - yes you - seek counselling. At least it will give you someone outside your immediate circle to vent your feelings to; and they might even have a useful point of view.
Hello rosiero, thanks for the suggestions. It's funny how we can put up with a great deal but the disturbed sleep can be the last straw! I'm off to see the doc soon - not seen him about myself for 18 months.
A single man - thanks for calling in - have been over to visit your place a few times. We all know just what you mean - us carers are into reassurance a lot of the time - even though we want to scream 'I just want some peace and quiet'!
Oh potty mummy - I know JUST what you mean. MyMan's always saying he just wants me to 'be happy' but then when I plan something that takes me out and about he worries whether I'll be safe driving there - how long I'll be gone - and that's "another afternoon we wont spend together" - even though we're together a great deal. I sometimes feel like a 'kid's cuddle blanket' rather than a wife.
You're right about counselling ...
So does that mean me being completely self centred is part of my depression
Thank god for that I thought I was being a little rich but this just confirms it. Why don't they teach anyone this?
Ps have you raided holland and barrett yet?
I suspected there was the ring of truth in your comment to me of yesterday and, having just read through your 'Irritability' posting here, I can see why.
You are in a raw deal, and no mistake. We have a saying in this marriage which goes "Do what your body is telling you", and if that means separate beds in separate rooms, then so be it.
Hello henry, yes went to H&B today ... My Man not to be persuaded just yet - am working on it .. Perhaps he doesn't trust me and thinks I want to be a well off widow?
Hello St Billy, hope you are enjoying your week...
Hi, If you've saw my blog you'll know sleep for me, is always low on the agenda, unfortunately.
Dealing with seizures throughout the night can and does make you a touch irritable at times! so I know where you are coming from.
I thought I'd got used to it but it always seems to catch up with you in the end!
Maz x
I Know Maz - I am sorry - nice to see you over here. x
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