We have both been down. And irritable with each other. We are trying to adjust to loss. Loss of hope. For us loss adjustment means making decisions on several outstanding issues. Issues such as the old 1995 Rover that sits in the garage 6 days out of 7. Only taken out once a week it often needs the battery charger on before it will fire into life. It takes all the garden rubbish to the dump. Several skip bags at a time. My old car. Old reliable. But I now find heavy to steer.
We only really need one car. It was very hard for MyMan to cope when he let go of his large car 3 years ago. A sign of recognition that he was no longer an executive in need of a car for travelling around the nation. Trouble shooting as he went here and there. I used to have to drive it on a round trip of 30 miles once a week just to keep it going. It was completely impractical for non motorway lifestyle.
Now it is my turn. My cars. My loss of independent independence. My Jazz although wonderful and fun to drive just can't cope with the amount of garden waste that is taken to the dump each week. A large lush garden with many evergreen trees and shrubs growing continuously throughout the year. Too much to shred. Too much to rot down in one of the 4 compost bins. It would mean several trips a week just to the dump. So the Rover and the Jazz are to go to be replaced by a different vehicle. I find the Jazz such fun to drive and dislike the thought of losing it. But if we go down to only one car we need a larger, sturdier vehicle. Something MyMan will feel safer in. More secure should another thoughtless, careless driver slam into us coming round a sharp bend while talking on their mobile phone.
MyMan was told last week that 'this is it'. We had our suspicions it was so. But now we know. It will not get any better. So were are grieving for our lost dreams. The dreams we had when we moved south from Gloucestershire. Of rambling walks throughout the east Devon countryside. Trips from north to south Devon. Short breaks away in Cornwall and Dorset. None of these will be realised. MyMan is practically housebound. His driving is very limited. Therefore we also return to the idea that we need to consider a move away from our semi- rural life. A move to town or city. But where that will be is another question.
Meanwhile I'll be going off to take some test drives: Honda CRV, Toyota Rav4, Nissan X-Trail QuashQui , and Vauxhall Zafira.
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6 comments:
Okay. Penny, so who is the beautiful young blonde getting into your car? Away with you, do you think we all just got off the banana boat? ;-)
I'm sorry that your news is so devastating. But, as with every prognosis there are exceptions. False hope is a bad thing but no hope is soul destroying.
I recently read Jane Tomlinson's story - and against all odds she fought back. Yes she lost in the end but she won so much in the time she had left.
Doctors work from a baseline position of statistical evidence as part of their final prognosis. These are man made measures that can often be beaten by determination and hope. Hence the reason some people defy the odds and amaze doctors with their powers of recovery. Don't give up and don't let yourselves be pigeon holed into a place where you see no escape from. The human brain is amazing and it can power the body beyond peoples wildest dreams as long as there is spirit, will, dogmatic determination and hope.
It must seem like climbing a mountain, but one step at a time and the journey continues apace.
The beautiful young blonde is me (LIAR) - she came with the photo.
I know MOB - but the chiroparcator doesn't want to keep taking his money if she can't do anymore for him. His spine is fusing at the neck and mid/lower back. Muscle spasm not helping with pain. He is arranging intense weekly massage sessions to try and relax the muscles. His main problem in my view is his mental state. Hundreds of folk - and I include myself -walk around with discomfort and pain daily but we manage to keep going and reasonably cheerful. He has lost the ability to rise above pain. As you say the human brain is amazing but his is currently wired to be negative in all aspects.
As you say one step more - forwards and upwards >>
Thank you for writing so honestly about the situation. Sorry to hear it is a tough time. Take care, Kristi Marie Gott
Thank you kristi - I've just popped over to visit your site - it's impressive.
Loss adjusters are appointed by insurance companies the goal of loss adjusters is to minimize the amount of claim.
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