Pains in the Neck

My masseuse told me I've tense shoulders and shortened neck muscles. I look down far too much. Too much housework, gardening and talking to friends I expect. I'm tall. I socialise with shorter friends. Then to relax I read, write letters and blog. I'm going to have to try and find some friends to look up to. And some hobbies that force to me to look up. It's taken me a week to recover from the effects of the massage. It's slowly wearing off and I hope to be back to 'normal' in a few days.

It has made me realise how tiring and draining pain is. Especially if you have it every day and all day. It's made me realise how hard it is for My Man to cope day in day out. The doctor and the chiropractor have told him 'this is as good as it gets'. It's not very good at all so he is understandably even more depressed. He moves like a man in his late 70s - which may make it all OK ; in 15 years time.

Meanwhile, we both have to come to terms with the loss of our dream of how our retirement years would be. In travelling, exploring, house sitting and pet sitting. I regret now the number of years we were hard working, prudent with money, frugal and saving towards our retirement. I think it will be easier once he has come to terms with being 'less able'. At the moment he is still trying to do 'normal tasks'. He can't believe how little he is able to manage without becoming exhausted through the effort involved. Also the time it takes him to recover enough to try again. We need to sort out some outside painting jobs, a leaking shower stall, in fact several minor little DIY jobs. We really need to get an odd job man in. but to do so will be too admit that 'it ain't getting any better'.

A Quiet Week is Forecast

It's not been at all good here. My Man is still in a bad way. Reluctanlty, he has returned to taking the beta blockers. The migraines returned. Daily. Therefore the beta blockers must have been doing some thing to help. It will probably take a few weeks for them to get into his system and for the benefits to become apparent. I have a pain in the neck. I have an appointment on Wednesday to sort it out. So I will be taking a couple of days break from PC and keyboard etc. We've had a very quiet weekend and it looks like being an even quieter week.

A Singles Social Life

Things aren't quite so good at the moment. My Man still feels that he just doesn't want to mix with people. We had a birthday party to attend last weekend. He made a great effort and came with me. It was a small do of only 6 of us in total. A couple of hours in the afternoon. With tea and cakes. He only came with me as he 'didn't want to let you down'. He says he didn't enjoy it much at all. He finds small talk difficult - it's of 'no interest ' for him. I admit it is difficult as we have no small talk in us, lately. We haven't been on any exciting holidays or cruises. We haven't been to the new shopping centre at Plymouth and we don't eat out. We both feel envious that people are 'out there' enjoying life. He doesn't want to keep hearing about other peoples illnesses and treatments. He would much prefer to meet people who are not retired and have a 'meaningful' conversation. But all he can talk about is his ill health/pain and treatments etc! Also he can't be bothered with 'intellectual conversation'. So, therefore, he has no interest in conversation.
We have an invite to a small social get together tomorrow evening. I would like to go. I would much prefer that we go as a couple. But I find it difficult to enjoy myself when I hear the conversation revolving around trips abroad, restaurants, shopping, clubs and other social events. I almost can hear My Man's voice going on as a censor at the back of my mind and it inhibits me. I don't know whether or not I will be going - but if I do I expect it will be as a singleton.

My Life As A Carer

- is the theme for today. Today is the first day of Carers Week. Various areas have events organised and if you are interested in seeing what has been arranged for you area then click on this link to visit the site for more information.
Even if you love the person you care for, the emotional and physical demands of caring can be extremely stressful. The person you care for may be elderly, someone with dementia, a chronic/terminal illness or a serious disability. If you live with the person you care for it may be you feel you have no time to properly relax and chill out. At different times you may feel full of anger, frustration, resentment and guilt. We all react differently to the stresses of caring. If you join a local carers support group it may well help you to find out that your feelings are quite normal and are experienced by many carers. Do explore the links on the sidebar on the right and find out what help is available. We all need a safe way to 'let off steam' at some time.

More Chocolatey News

I think this is a kind of Dawn French moment as the news about chocolate hit the headlines again today.

Two Steps Forward - One Back

The supper party went well last weekend. The fact that I had chosen an easy simple meal was a great help. We were able to thank our friends for their support while I was away from home. My Man did vacuum and that saved me some time and effort. The fact that he then had to retire to bed for a couple of hours left me able to get on and concentrate in the kitchen. But it once again highlights just how weak he still feels. The sudden draining of energy I can only assume is due to the depression. For an unwell man he is 'very fit' with good blood test results and low blood pressure etc. He has reduced the medication he was prescribed for migraine control, in the hope he would regain some energy . But it just means the migraines are increasing again. The doctor assumes that the level of chronic pain he has is one of the causes of the fatigue and the depression [which is also known to cause fatigue] is mainly due to the chronic pain. So he is in a Catch 22 situation.
I think he is beginning to come to terms with the changes in his physical health. That, when he has worked through it all and finally adjusted, I hope will mean an improvement in his mental well being. Only time will tell. With the brighter sunnier days I try to get him outdoors as much as possible. His mood has lifted to a degree and we are beginning to share some of the funny aspects of life again - sometimes.

Chocoholics Unite

I did find this amusing - can almost taste it on may lips as I read it. It's worth a look at this blog by The Poetess. I used to belong to the Chocolate Tasting Club. Wonderful selection of really super, luxury chocolates. But having them delivered to the door was not a great help in the dieting campaign. I reluctantly retired from the club. I still occasionally order from the Company as I find they are excellent for sending as gifts to friends and family.