Friday, 22 January 2010

Caring With Confidence

I would like to draw your attention to this new initiative funded by the NHS. It is a free knowledge and skills based learning programme. Some areas have group meetings. It appears to have limited groups in the South West region - Somerset. No wonder parts of Devon & Cornwall are still referred to as 'the withered arm'. (There was not so much money to be spent on the west which had to soldier on as best it could - left to wither away!)

I suggest you explore this link and see if Caring with Confidence would be of any help to you.

I like to meet and share problems in a group when I can but with time being such an issue it isn't always easy. Another problem I find is just how bone wearingly tired being a carer can be. It is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. I often wonder whether it is a low grade form of reactive depression. Does anyone else have any views on this?


karen said...

I know I am depressed. I am pooped all the time. I don't want to leave when someone comes to relieve me for awhile. I just want to sit and watch tv or get on-line. I would love it if someone would bring me take-out everyday so I would not have to cook. Caregiving takes everything from us. We can do it , We are going to make it. But when it is time for us to go back out in the real world I just don't know if it will ever be the same again.

maz said...

Hi, i competed the Caring with Confidence course last year and found it really good.
It's geared to people who are relatively new to caring but there was lots of info. I found useful too!
I really found the relaxation, stress, time and money management parts helpful.

maz x

Sapphyre said...

I have had depression/anxiety (was it post natal? I'm not sure... DH was suicidal when I found out I was pregnant with our second child)... and adrenal fatigue. I'm over the latter, and highly recommend you look it up (there's some info on my blog). Almost over the depression/anxiety. And they are interlinked, I'm sure.

Being married to a chronic pain sufferer with undiagnosed ADHD and anxiety/depression put me on the path to both depression/anxiety and adrenal fatigue. (I was fine before I got married LOL).

ChickPea said...

oh yes - I do so agree, ladythinker and karen - Caring is so overwhelmingly exhausting, sapping every drop of life and love and care from you - and then demanding more.
But what else would you do ? you know that is what you want to do, and WILL do, despite the costs to yourself..... And, yes, if you are human, an element of reactive depression is perhaps almost inevitable......

And after ? Yes, the world outside IS different. Maybe MORE real. And yes, it may take a while to adjust yourself to different expectations and demands......maybe no demands. Let tomorrow take care of itself.

Today, take care of YOU. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself - only then are you fully able to be kind to the one you love and care for....

With all love and very best wishes, x

Cranky Carer said...

I agree that an element of reactive depression is inevitable. After all depression is the normal reaction to loss. Most of us have lost a healthy spouse/partner/parent and the healthy lifestyle that accompanied this. Many of us have lost other areas of life that give us self esteem like careers, socialising or hobbies. Most of all (I find) is the loss of control over my daily life: when I get up, go to bed, eat, read, think (!)

But as Chick Pea wisely says 'what else would we do'?

Our choices at the moment are limited, not least by our own set of values.

As for tomorrow...who knows. I often fantasise about a life after caring but realise that that too may be far from ideal. But still it’s nice to dream of travel to far away places, freedom to make more choices...or even a good night's sleep!!

Cranky Carer

Sapphyre said...

It's a bit quiet on this blog at the moment. Is everything okay Penny?

ladythinker said...

Thank you all for leaving your comments. I'm sorry but it has been particularly trying over the last few months. I've just not had the time to do what I need without what I want to do . .

Now we have a few weeks free from hospital appointments I'm hoping we can draw breathe and get some energy back . .