Sunday, 22 February 2009

Pensioner Pisces Parties

I have been inudated with flowers, cards, chocolates and a watercolour of 3 fancy goldfish for my 60th birthday. The DWP also sent me a letter to tell me that my pension would be paid into my bank account on the following Monday. The DWP Carers Section sent me a letter to tell me that my Carer's Allowance will cease. But that I will contine to have an 'underlying entitlement' to Carer's Allowance. Thanks.

MyMan made a noble effort to celebrate the day. The effort took a lot out of him. I found it exhausting watching him. But I appreciated his attempt. It's just that I could see what it was doing to himand it upset me.

A friend said I couldn't be allowed to not celebrate the day. She arranged an afternoon tea party for me. Sadly it was a struggle for her too. She was distracted and tense as her husband was unwell. In the event he had a dizzy turn and dropped the tray of champagne filled glasses. Unusually for him he retired to bed. It was the first time she had entertained guests while she was so worried about her man. She said the time passed in a blur and she could remember very little. She partied on autopilot. I know the feeling. That's why I rarely arrange social events at home. Stress on top of stress is just unbearable.

The silver lining is that I now have one local friend who has had a taste of what it is like to be a carer. And why I have ceased entertaining at home.

Friday, 13 February 2009

A Bleeding Free Zone

I'm pleased to report that we have been a bleeding free zone for several weeks now. MyMan has been very quiet. He has been 'lazy'. He has not strained or lifted a muscle. He watched TV, listened to the radio, read the daily papers and books. But he did not bleed. We haven't seen an ambulance outside our house since early January. Slowly life is returning to normal. Well, our version of 'normal'.

The less he did the more relaxed he became. The less he did the less pain he suffered. The less pain he suffered the more mellow his mood became. It's been quite a pleasure to live with him over the last month. The less he did the more I had to do. My muscles are suffering from over work and over effort. I became tired and wrung out. But content as there was no friction between us. I remembered why I love him.

After a bleed free month MyMan started to step up his activities. He started to do his small daily walks again. Pottering on various small jobs around the house. Activity brought on increased pain. As his pain level increased so did his irritability and irrational outbursts. As his irritability increased so did our little bickering arguments over trivial misunderstandings.

If we want to live together in happy harmony I think he needs to become a couch potato, permanently.