Feeling Guilty

I've been sounding off about MyMan this afternoon. He has been in an unbelievably morose mood, fretful and aggressive. Now he is fast asleep. I've been able to sneak off and do several jobs that he promised he would see to. Vacuuming living room, cleaning car windscreen before it rains (to clear it of greasy smeary deposit) and to rearrange bathroom cupboards.

Sat down with a cuppa and read a couple of blogs. Feeling guilty again as so many things here sound familiar. I think MyMan may have vascular dementia. The Eye Consultant told us he has some areas of ischaemia showing on his MRI scan. We'll know more when we attend Neurology clinic again in November

When we initially attended the Neurology appointment MyMan wanted me to be there only in the capacity of note taker. He was in an independent mood. It was a very unsatisfactory appointment as I was wrong footed from the word go. MyMan failed to say who I was as I trailed in after him or to ask if it would be allright for me to accompany him. I knew then he was 'struggling' before he'd even started. The consultant ignored me and asked him "who's this?" reply "my wife";  no explanation of carer role or the need to listen in due to his appalling short term memory.

The consultant appeared to have made up his mind before he even asked MM any questions on his symptoms. Neurologist is convinced that he has clusters of different types of migraine (many without headaches) one after the other. All leading to the light sensitivity, sight problems, sound over-sensitivity, smell/taste problems and poor sense of balance. I did ask, as we'd agreed on this beforehand, whether any of his symptoms could be due to a form of dementia. The consultant was abrupt to the point of rudeness when he said not and I felt quite cowed for asking.

So cowed in fact that I failed to mention the other baffling symptoms that worry me.

In the end he recommended that MM increase Pregabalin to a much higher dose to reduce pain, improve sleep and hopefully halt the continuous cycle of migraines.

As it is we are now almost a year on and rather than any sign of improvement he is worse. We are due to go to see the family doctor again But this time we will go with armed with a long list of the symptoms he has and ask the Dr whether the neurologist would still consider everything be due to migraines.