Monday, 15 June 2009

It's Been a Very Busy Month

It's been a very busy month. Appointments [mine] Carer Support worker and health MOT; [MyMan's] Consultant psychologist, ENT Consultant, CT scan and the West of England Eye Unit. Trying to source a new Toyota Verso. A friend flying in to stay at a local hotel; to be entertained between breakfast and bed time.

In between times I've been trying to enjoy myself - bridge class, playing bridge, and coffee with friends. Along with all the usual chores of laundry, cleaning, cooking and shopping. The garden's had to look after itself. And it shows. Shame. Can't be helped. Something had to go. It was either MyMan or the garden. My choice may be different another month.

MyMan has had a few sessions with the psychologist. Testing his short term memory problem. The psychologist is "almost 70% certain there is no dementia". He believes that MyMan lacks focus and concentration due to depression and the energy sapping chronic pain. He has referred him to the Pain Management Clinic for a full re-assessment. But he wants me to monitor the situation and return to him if MyMan appears to be getting worse. He said that if dementia is present, there is much that can be done if it's 'caught early' enough.

MyMan also has a cyst on his eyelid which is causing him a problem and will need minor surgery. He's had a CT scan for his chronic sinusitis with a view to possible surgery. And now he has infective conjunctivitis. It's just as well most of my health results not showing up much of a problem; other than a raised BP. I don't have time or energy to be unwell. I'll have to practise the yogic breathing exercises more often and chill out.

Margaret, my carer support worker, suggested that MyMan could use the hospital car service. It would give me a break and the chance to have a couple of hours alone at home. I loved the idea but MyMan said he didn't want to travel over to Exeter with a 'stranger' in a 'strange car' .


I think my body may be telling me I've had all I can take. I've had such a long list of symptoms. IBS, tension headaches, muscles pains and weakness, breathlessness and palpitations. And I'm TATTI. That is I'm Tired All The Time.

I finally went to the doctor. After an alarming 2 hour session of a a racing heart and feeling twitchy I thought I'd better go along for a check up. By the time the appointment came around I felt much better. But rather than cancel I thought I'd go in and just tell him how I had been feeling. I know that I've been stressed and tense. I assumed all of my symptoms to be psychosomatic.

Sitting in the waiting room I could feel myself getting tense and anxious. No amount of deep relaxing breathing could ease the feeling of unease.

By the time he checked my blood pressure it was UP. He ordered a routine ECG, fasting blood tests and another BP check with the nurse. I'm to return to see him a couple of weeks.

A couple of days after the blood test I received a letter telling me to book in for a 'routine blood test' in a months time. What have they found?? My anxiety levels are on the up again! Take a deep breathe; breath and chill out. CALM .... CALM ....