Wednesday, 26 March 2008

An Apology

I had a handsome apology yesterday morning. MyMan said that I was quite right in what I had suggested the day before. My suggestion on what I believed needed doing and the manner in which I thought it should be done would have saved us time and stress on Tuesday morning when 2 men came to collect our surplus household goods.

Our trouble is that I am a natural born organiser. Previously when MyMan worked away from home I was used to organising/arranging/overseeing all practical tasks. A sort of Domestic Project Manager. I find it difficult not to continue in the role. MyMan still has very low energy levels. I therefore try and conserve his physical/mental energy to cope with the tasks that I find physically impossible to complete. I do a great deal of thinking and planning. When I try to talk it through with him - 'the plan of action' - he doesn't want to be bothered with the details or the nitty gritty. He's too tired to bother. But when we come to getting on with the job he dislikes being directed on what to do. He feels too weak to cope and this along with his current low self esteem makes him even angrier.

It's not helped by the fact that the small domestic jobs he said he would sort out didn't go to plan. Getting out the recycling and rubbish after the Good Friday and Easter Monday bank holiday. He hadn't read the information sheet from EDDC correctly. He confused the recycling with the rubbish collection days. We therefore missed both. I thought it was more than my life was worth to check up on this and left him to his own devices. If I'd questioned the fact that recycling was postponed by a day it would have undermined his feelings but now that he has found out he made the mistake he feels even more incompetent. There is no way I can see of getting this right .....

At least we've had a laugh together today. I told him that this morning as I dressed I put on my watch and wedding ring. It reminded me it was the same action which made me pause and think rather than storming out and leaving him on Monday afternoon. About how ridiculous it was. In the midst of getting ready to walk out and leave I am carefully putting on my wedding ring .... Now if I wore my ring permanently I may have been long gone by now..

2 comments:

Kristi Marie Gott said...

I always enjoy your blog, and this particular post was especially interesting. So true, when someone is feeling the way your "MyMan" feels, low-self-esteem etc., it seems there are a lot of times when there are blow-ups and anger. The real life incident where you are putting on your wedding ring as you prepared to leave, then staying, was amazing. Best wishes and take care.

lady thinker said...

Thank you Kristi...