Sunday, 2 September 2007

Black Dog Days

We have a small tea party this afternoon. MyMan felt that as we had not entertained for a few months)that we should invite our close friends around. I thought I would keep it short and sweet. Afternoon tea seems suitably 'old fashioned and genteel'. Not too demanding on time if MyMan doesn't feel up to coping with being sociable for several hours. He seemed very quiet and withdrawn again this morning. I've been making savouries, sandwiches and cakes. I asked him at lunchtime 'are you OK?'. No, he's not. He told me he suddenly has the 'Black Dog Visiting' again. Everybody is looking forward to seeing him. I'm not sure how he'll cope. Maybe some gossip and news, old friends, easy conversation will lift his mood a fraction. Or he will act bright, breezy and the 'joker in the pack' but retreat straight back into his dark mood once they've gone: exhausted by his effort. It's at this point before people arrive that I wonder whether the effort is worth it for either of us.


Henry North London said...

Sorry this is the first time Ive come back to your blog from Rachels and it strikes me that your friendly psychiatrist is taking far too long to get your man back to normal.

Sorry I'm a psychiatrist by trade and I would have had your husband on venlafaxine and possibly mirtazapine by now at pretty high doses. ( Not that Im trying to interfere I just know its the best way of getting someone better if they happen to not respond to one antidepressant on its own)

Lack of energy, dullness of concentration and irritability are all signs of depression, as it is both depressed mood and depressed cognition and mood recovers first usually,

You must have the patience of a saint, Ive been ill with the black dog for six months and Ive only just recovered as I needed an even higher dose than before and a stupid psychiatrist in London took me off my normal meds and decided he would play God and he precipitated a full on relapse for which I shall never ever forgive him.

My parents have had to put up with my moods for three months and are starting to get rather bitchy about me spoiling their plans for this year and ending up unemployed as a byproduct.

I hope your man gets better soon

Henry ( feel free to email if you want some medical info)

Potty Mummy said...

Oh, the black dog. Can't count the number of times he's been on my dad's and sister's shoulder. You are not alone in wanting to have it put down...

Henry North London said...

In response to your comment on the first post of my blog. Its not something I generally shout from the rooftops.

You forget and even I did for two weeks that for every death/ murder by terrorists or other reasons that there are the associated ripples that move outward and affect the ones who have been in contact with that person throughout their lifetime and stays with them burnt on their memory for the rest of their lives though they move on as they have to if they are not to be caught up in the downward spiral.

Rachel refers to me on page 184-185 of her book for which I am very grateful because she didn't have to include it.

In years to come I can show the book off and say there are my fifteen minutes of fame or is it infamy who knows.

In anycase... Im more able to acknowledge it so you are welcome to spread the knowledge that my first post is the juiciest part of my blog. I started with a rather personal post and as Rachel says the political is the personal more often than you think.


Poetess said...

I do hope your afternoon tea went well and your hubby coped and even enjoyed it.


lady thinker said...

Thanks Henry. Potty Mum and Poetess, nice to see you all.
Henry - I read your blog and then looked at your first posting where I left the comment. I'm in the middle of Rachel's book and last night found when she mentioned you. Nice to get the complete picture. Strange isn't it how I read your's first and then found Rachels mention second within hours.

Henry North London said...

If you ever want to hear the full uncensored story I'll tell it to you

Bittersweet as all love stories often are.....

I haven't written the full story well not yet.

lady thinker said...

If you want to tell the full story then I'm sure many of us would like to hear what you have to say. However, once it's out there in cyber space it's difficult to retract isn't it - if we change our mind at some point. i'm always juggling what to say or leave out. My man knows I tell all but it still feels a bit disloyal. I also worry that someone he knows (family or close friends) will chance upon this and have their pereception chnaged as to how we are coping ... I can feel another blog coming on!

Henry North London said...

oh the only way I will put it all in the public domain is by writing a book about it

I dont think I could face just doing it on the blog