Thursday, 17 May 2007

Children as Carers

There was so much publicity last week given to children who care for disabled and/or mentally ill parents/siblings following an inquest after a young girl committed suicide. I felt shame and ashamed. I've moaned about how difficult it is being a carer. But to hear the same words from young people was upsetting. Young people should be able to look forward to life without feelings of guilt or worry. They should be exploring and adventuring into the wider world. They should be learning for the sake of learning. It was very sad to hear so many of them speaking just as I would. But with an age gap of over 40 years between us. If you want to hear or view the BBC News report follow this link:

All I can say is if you are a young carer in a family; try and share it with as many people as possible. Explain some of the constraints and difficulties you have on your time. Do approach some of the Carers support web sites to see how you can get support when [and if] you need it. Talk to your doctor, teacher, neighbour or friends parents. Don't feel disloyal about sharing. Let your family know you are seeking support outside the family. It will benefit you all.

Some more sites to look at:,118,GP.html

If Social Services are involved in assisting your family make sure that your needs and concerns are looked at as well. Every County should have some provision for helping children who are caring for a family member. It is your right to have some help. Unfortunately in this country help is not often offered you do sometimes have to ask for it. Demand help - it is your right.

Just remember, although you feel alone - whatever your age - there are a lot of us around and we all want to help each other.


Poetess said...


i am so glad you raised the plight of child carers. My two sons were 10 and 11 when they became my carers, my home workers and still had to juggle free time and school into that. there was no help at all for them. I could not get benefits because it was my children who were doing the caring for me. Yet because I had children I could not get care because they were seen as being able to do it. Crazy system. My youngest son has faired well but my eldest now 19 has lots of anger issues because of the extra responsibility. I too had a car accident and suffer with chronic pain. thankfully by boys no longer have the same amount to do but I still rely on them. I was going to suggest genealogy to you as a fascinating pastime for your hubby, but I see that you are a genaelogist. I love family history and can loose many hours doing research for both myself and others. There is so many records on line now that it would be quite accessible for him to do.

Regards Poetess

The thinker said...

Kind of you to drop in and leave a comment. As you say Social Care/ Benefits are crazy system. A system which is easily 'worked' by unscupulous people but the 'deserving' who are often reluctant to make a claim, are made to jump through degrading hoops. I'm sorry about your eldest son.As you say family history is fascinating and wealth of info now on the web. My Man progresses but it's slow -I think he feels at his age there isn't much time to waste! He also still has anger issues to work through which probably not helping health wise.

Poetess said...


I do know what you mean about the
degradation when filling in all these forms. That is the point in which I am now. It always makes me feel low having to concentrate on the bad. But I just keep on writing the poetry and vent my frustrations in those. I can understand how hard it must be for your husband. One day your living one way and then next your life has simple turned on its head. I moved from Cumbria to Kent to get specialist ostoapthic treatment and at least now I am not bed bound. Just in case you live in this area, his name is Quentin Shaw and I can't tell you how good he is.

And for you also, it must be hard. I was pleased to read you got away in april. Hope the family history research was successful.


The thinker said...

I know just what you mean about concentrating on the bad - but sometimes that is all you can do when it's a round of doctors/specialist/claims etc - at the moment we seem to be coming to some adjustment. My man has been referred to a therapist who is able to give some temp relief from the whiplash neck problem and we hope it will last longer with time. It's enpough for him to start to do a few more 'normal' things. Thanks for the name and recommendation but we live in the West country. We used to enjoy many a holiday in Cumbria. It must be hard for you to adjust. Keep writing the poetry - it makes me smile.